Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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