I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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