Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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