The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
