I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
