I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize