am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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