I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
