you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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