think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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