Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
not ubering you a puppy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
