just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
