Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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