She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
