my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
