OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's rum buckets o'clock
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
