i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Couch. On fire.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
