My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bring me that man meat
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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