JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
