Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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