some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
