i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
