In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
