So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
