In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
