I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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