my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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