he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You've changed since you got that strap on
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
