Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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