i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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