u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
