Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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