Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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