I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
