Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
only you would photoshop your dick
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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