it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
