O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
