Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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