Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize