his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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