How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
