Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
