We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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