dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize