Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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