Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
