fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
