Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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