I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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