But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
