What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
