Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
