you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
