You made me cry and you don't even care
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize