I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
