so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
