The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
