so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
where does the pee come out of this thing
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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