Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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